Diary Of A Twenty Something: It’s Difficult

It’s difficult being twenty something. It’s difficult leaving the distractions of adolescence, into a decade when you’re expected to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. The pressures of seeing others seemingly get on with their lives, and decide early on the course they will take.

It’s difficult catching up from a few years of adversity. A few years of over thinking, of bad decisions. A few years of doing seemingly nothing. It’s difficult seeing your life as a sandcastle knocked down by trampling feet early on. To then try manicaly attempt to pile the sand back into the bucket you constructed it with, and erect it again, as others are already applying the decorative shells to their.

It’s difficult trying to find yourself, in an age where societies expectations burden the self-esteem of our generation. You’re bodies not good enough, you’re opinions aren’t relevant, your tastes aren’t accepted. It’s difficult to not ride the wave, but to attempt to charge through it, panting, board in hand. The wave is approaching, and the wave will swallow you up, it’s inevitable.

It’s difficult talking to people about the difficulty. It’s difficult when a solution is to dust yourself off. To pick yourself up. You’ll be fine. When secretly you feel like the carbonated drink you launch at the wall in frustration. The Carbon Dioxide darting to the surface is rather like your emotion attempting to break through some seal.

It’s difficult when at times you picture things easier with you not being here. When you’re walking from A to B, as others transport themselves on in life in their European, attractive boxes of metal. To picture yourself beneath these cars, limp yet free. It’s difficult to know that you need to sacrifice who you are, for what you want to become.

It’s difficult, but you bear with it. You wear it, like some biblical equestrian, saddled with it. You find ways to cope. You form character with it. You learn with it. You filter out the people who don’t matter. You filter out the habits that shouldn’t matter, that destroy you. You embrace the importance, and understand more the structure of your family. You listen and embrace new ideas, and tune out from the bleak rhetoric of modern popular culture.

You escape.

 

You are lost, but will become found.

 

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